Me and Mark
Yesterday in the New York Times there was a feature about Roger Ebert, the film critic who has lost his jaw to cancer, along with his ability to eat. Although he can no long enjoy the physical process of eating, he still loves to cook and read about food. Very uplifting. And then Tuesday Michael Douglas appeared on David Letterman quite upbeat while declaring he has stage 4 throat cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy and radiation. As we all know, there are no guarantees in life with what is around the corner. What I’ve learned from Tivol is how many people come in to buy jewelry celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions – and especially significant ones. And maybe because I’m nearing sixty and have seen friends and family pass away, my personal feelings have changed. I still want to commemorate a special occasion, but I also don’t necessarily wait for a 25th anniversary to give Mark a special gift. I’ve also found that living my life this way, whether it’s surprising him with a watch for no reason or baking cookies for a new neighbor, I gain much satisfaction and pleasure.
Me & Brooke
If I had my life to do-over, there are lots of things I’d do differently. I’ve never been good at details, like marking down the dates on the back of pictures along with a short description of where the picture was taken. I would have gone out to lunch with my friends more instead of working through lunch hours or grabbing something by myself. I would have sent out RSVPs or thank-you notes immediately instead of waiting, and perhaps forgetting. I should have hugged my kids more and told them what great jobs they did on school projects, tennis matches, swim meets. I would have made it more a priority to sit down with the family for dinner rather than be scattered with commitments. I would be better about staying in shape on a regular basis, rather than just give it lip service.
And yet, because I’m here writing this and you’re reading it, it’s not too late for any of us to change – IF it’s important enough and we make it a priority.
Tim & Me
Several months ago I accepted the co-chairmanship for the Kemper Gala in October with Tim Butt, who had been a chair last year. It’s been an eye-opening experience working with Tim. We have been friends from the time I became a customer at Black Bamboo, his wonderful Asian influenced/contemporary store in the Crossroads. Through many meetings over the last several months, I have gained a huge appreciation for Tim’s organization and intellect, not to mention his attention to detail and marketing prowess. Tim thinks outside the box, and I love to see that in anyone. I’m proud to call him my friend. It has been a pleasure working with and learning from him, along with the incredible Kemper staff of Rachael, Dawn (no longer there but still a huge help with the Gala) Margaret, Steve, and Leah. As I get older, I realize how much more important my friends are, and welcome and appreciate these new friendships.
I read a wonderful article in the July issue of Her Life magazine called Dealing with Your Pet’s Death. We have had 3 golden retrievers who have died over the years. Cody’s death, our last, was particularly wrenching because he had cancer that traveled to his paws (very rare). His suffering became too much for him and for us to bear. Dr. Hires Gage, our vet, came to our home and put him to sleep – the first time we experienced this. Although we knew it was the right decision, it doesn’t negate the incredible sense of sorrow and loss that goes along with a pet’s death. And of course, with a pet comes the obligation to take care of him and consider quality of life if his health goes south.
In the article, it talks about signs to look for in your sick pet’s behavior, such as loss of appetite for food and water, incontinence, pacing, whining, howling, and withdrawal. I was aware of all these signs except for the pacing – and I remember Cody near the end pacing back and forth. Ultimately, we all need to remember that our pets’ suffering and our decisions to end this suffering are far more important than our own sense of loss.
The City Bakery in NYC
I leave Friday for NYC with Mark. And of course, high priority for me is planning every meal, snack, and morsel that I will put into my mouth. Right now I know that we’re eating at Fig and Olive in the Meatpacking district Friday night. We’ll go for breakfast Saturday morning to City Bakery after wandering around at the Union Square Greenmarket. City Bakery has, bar none, my favorite cookies EVER. Killer chocolate chunk and oatmeal raisin are my favorites, and I don’t hesitate to eat them for breakfast along with my pretzel croissant and hot chocolate. The pretzel croissant is one of City Bakery’s signature items, an incredible combination of sweet, salty, and butter. Lunch on Saturday will be at Artichoke on 14th Street between 1st and 2nd. This is a hole in the wall pizza place, carry-out only with a small ledge for 3 people to stand and eat a slice. I don’t get their slice of artichoke pizza – I get the thick slice (like a deep dish) marinara with a very crunch crust. I think they bake it in a deep dish pan with an inch of olive oil in it!
This will be the third time we’re staying at The Standard in the Meatpacking district. All the rooms have floor to ceiling windows with great beds and linens – a boutique hotel with rooms on the small side and great features. There’s a fantastic restaurant called The Standard Grill attached that has become hugely popular with the hip set – NOT the typical hotel dining. It’s so fun with lots of action – both in the hotel and the neighborhood. I probably raise the age demographic by 30 years, but I don’t care. We love to see what’s going on in our favorite city.
It was difficult getting used to 4 out of 5 of our children living outside Kansas City. But we’re lucky to be able to see them often. Sometimes business takes us to NYC and we can take advantage of seeing Danielle and Brooke then, but Chicago and Columbus, where Andrew and Derek live, are strictly destination cities for us. But what is really tough is not being able to see my grand-daughter Lydia frequently.
I had no idea the joy that a grandchild would bring me. This weekend Derek and Lydia are flying in for a couple of nights. Not nearly enough time, but I’ll take it! I’m picking them up from the airport, probably going to lunch at Winstead’s for a Tiny Tot, and then driving home. Swimming is definitely on the agenda along with toy store shopping, story time at the book store, and seeing friends and family. Lydie loves dancing to Lady Gaga (she’s 2 ½) so we’ll make a video of her dancing to one of the songs. Can’t wait to get my hands on that little thing – oh, and of course, Derek!
18th and Vine District
Saturday night Mark and I went with friends to see Inception. Great special effects and music, but I didn’t love it. I think that puts me in the minority in this country! I need to step outside my comfort zone and make plans with friends that don’t always include a movie and dinner, or a movie OR dinner. I’m way too boring and predictable. This has been on my radar for a while, but I’m not moving on changing my pattern. Kansas City is known for jazz and great music, so I’m making this my goal: the next time we go out, we’re going to go to a club and listening to jazz – AFTER we visit Oklahoma Joe’s!
iPhone 4
I just received the new iPhone 4. I know I should be jumping up and down about it, because it’s new, it’s cool and hip, yadayadayada. The truth is, I’m about as far from a techie as you can get. But I AM going to go to the Apple store and have a tutorial about the phone so I can intelligently learn at least half the functions this little gem is capable of. I had my last phone for over 10 years – that gives you an idea of what a dinosaur I am.
When I start thinking about how technology has changed, I go back to memories of my very own first phone, a pink Princess. I loved it. I’d spend hours talking to friends – especially during slumber parties. And then, the Walkman, a portable cassette player came out. It was the precursor to the I Pod, and had large cassettes you could buy and snap into the body. I have to say, it did encourage me to walk and run because I loved my Temptations and Moody Blues. When I grew up, antennaes on TVs and the top of houses were common, and remote controls were non-existent. And then the computer was introduced, and changed the way we live our personal and business lives forever. They say that being techno savvy has always been inversely proportionate to age, and I’m a living breathing example of this!
Probably one of my biggest pet peeves is poor customer service. Last week I was getting a chocolate egg cream at one of my favorite places, and I asked for extra chocolate (just like I do at LatteLand for my hot chocolate). The young lady behind the counter asked if I wanted $.30 worth or $.60 worth. I said I had never been charged for extra chocolate. She proceeded to make it, and then turned back to me and asked if I had decided if I wanted the $.30 worth or $.60 worth. I told her that’s okay – I didn’t want it. She said she didn’t mean to be rude (in an insincere way) and if I hadn’t been charged before, then the employees weren’t doing their job correctly. I said thanks anyway, and walked out. In my mind, there are two scenarios which would have been 1000 times better. First, the best would have been not to charge for an extra shot of chocolate. The second would have been for the young lady to say that normally they charge for extra chocolate, but since I had never been charged before, she was happy to go ahead and give it to me for no additional charge this time. Believe me, I understand about profit and making numbers. But in the scheme of things, is it worth it to upset a customer? And upset a customer so much that she might not return? There is no question that I and others have been guilty at Tivol of delivering less than stellar customer service, even though our customer service is normally exemplary. I am grateful when a customer cares enough to point this out so we can rectify the situation. As an owner, I want to know so I can make it right. I understand that customers can spend their money with whatever business they want, and loyalty can be fragile. So the next time you’re in Tivol and you visit isn’t everything it should be, please tell me so I can make it right.
Mom and Me
Mother’s Day May 9 was a struggle for me. Although I was with family for breakfast and later for dinner, there was a black cloud that followed me around all day. I lost my mother July 29, 2008 after her fight with breast cancer for over 15 years. My husband Mark and I brought Mother back to Kansas City in June to live because of a nasty fall she suffered. I had talked to her for years after her husband died about coming back to Kansas city, and she finally said yes. After a hospital stay at Menorah Medical Center in July, she was transferred by ambulance to Hospice House, where she died 3 days later. Losing a parent is something most of us will experience, if we haven’t already. Getting through the dark days of remembering are just part of the grieving process.
